Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tracking myself

The snow is very telling; I know who looks in my windows at night. Deer tracks run everywhere, and rabbit tracks, and something larger than a deer. Could there be a shy elk in my neighborhood? There could be. Believe me, I have a tracking chart. I know the difference between a mountain lion track and a German Shepherd track. Shepherds, like wolves, have four toes. Mountain lions have four also. You have to tell the difference between the canines and the cats by the pads. The canine pad track is like a triangle, while the mountain lion is more like a wide trapezoid. The toes are much further apart. So far, no mountain lions. And no bears of course, because they are asleep.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could track our lives and see where we had been the way we see animal tracks in the snow. Memory is subjective, tracks are real. No, the deer didn't run that way- look, their tracks are here. No revision is possible, just the facts, Maam, please.

Maybe it's a good thing, though, that we can't see our tracks, because we'd spend too much time looking at them and playing the blame game. I am all for looking forward and trying to achieve something, rather than analyzing something to death. Where's the achievement in that?

Here's to the newly revived Martin Luther King National Day of Service coming up. I know we all have our pet charities and causes, but on the 19th, we all get to do something extra to jump start our nation into conscious awakeness. Yes, I say awakeness, rather than awareness. We need to take our brains out of our everyday separate realities that we have created via our Blogs (yes, me too), our texting, our iPod collections, our television shows, our movies, our video games, our digital games, our "I'm ignoring the reality around me and creating my own" games- and see the world around us, of which we are part. And DO something.

My resolution for 2009: Strive not to acquire, but to achieve. List not what I want to own, but what I want to do. Buy not much, do much more.

So I have my lists of what I want to achieve, and I am seeing that any small thing that I do to work towards a goal makes me feel just as good as going out and acquiring something new for myself.

I finish writing a new poem or song or story or novel, rather than buying a new whatever, and I feel just as good. In fact, I feel better. I am sorry that the GNP will now go down a bit more, but really, this spending spree just has to end. Not that I've been a BIG spender, just that spending has to be conscious (I must wake up), and saving. . . OMG, what's THAT? . . . . has to begin. And if I'm busy DOING, then maybe I won't mind saving.

And while we're on it, I don't mean following the slick color department store sales sheets that entice with. . . "Buy one, get one free." That's saving 50% of what was too much in the first place. But, as my grandmother pointed out to me long ago, in the case of sales like this, "You have to spend to save." What I'm talking about (cringe) is refraining from going to the sales at all. I mean not looking at the sales sheets in the papers. I mean, only buying something when I absolutely need it and it's on a list. Wow. I am ever so glad that I can't see all the tracks I have made to malls, discount stores, home improvement stores, pet stores, lingerie stores, cosmetic stores, shoe stores, craft supply stores, office supply stores, and now horse tack stores (really, a bright pink halter for my horse was necessary?)etc, etc, when I didn't NEED something. It's a sad revelation to know that shopping has become THE main pastime in the United States for the millions of unfit who are not sweating it out on some sports team or gym (me) or who don't have some purpose that takes up all their time so they cannot go shopping. Time to change. I think I'll change into a mushroom-- that's a useful fungus. Or not.

Seriously, I am excited about this. I am trying to tear my consciousness away from all the ads, all the ads, all the ads, and become myself in this screaming world of materialism. And I think I'm doing it, although I had to bury myself in Montana to get to a place of introspection and honesty. Honestly, it's been enlightening. I have enough. More than enough. There are 400 homeless people in the Flathead Valley- many are young familes with jobs. They sleep at night in the homeless shelter in Kalispell.

OK, on a lighter note, the horsies are great, thank you for asking. They like the snow, and yes, the fat little pony can move, which she does quite well. Check the video, and thanks for reading. And no, I won't go shopping with you.